Silver lining: 2

Hooray, hooray.

I'm your silver lining.

I tend to focus on the bad in myself and the infinite good in others. Trust me, I berated myself endlessly and built him a castle in my mind to rest his laurels and his ego on, even though the leaves were withered and his head could not cross the threshold.

If I focus on whether or not I'm prettysmartcharmingwittyendearing enough, will they ever be able to see what I am instead of what I am not?

Or will they see me, perpetually bent over a microscope, examining and charting up my insides for everyone to see the good that won't come out of me? I will highlight and circle the good, shaking the transparency, but all they will see is the me on the outside, terrifying and lifeless.

That's what I truly fear for you. I have poured out my good for once. Usually, people say it's the opposite. The good on the outside, rotten on the inside, like an apple. Me? I know it's there. I talk with it, mold it and take comfort in the fact that there is some good in me.

But my outside, I fear, isn't a clear indicator of me. I focus on the negative, relinquish the task of finding the good to someone else. I gave up on going to the doctor to prove that my good is indeed there.

But today, oh, I got over it. The good WILL come out of me and frankly, I don't care who sees it.

Why hide something beautiful? Why run from the puzzle pieces that snap together so perfectly? Stop saying that it's too perfect, it will never work, it's too hard. Just breathe, wait, and stop depending on the doctors to show the world how good you truly are.